Thursday, July 31, 2008

Only in Provo

So, I got invited to a party in Provo the other day. It was at
an apartment complex really close to BYU, and it was inhabited by the sort of microcosmically, self-involved douchebags that can only exist in that region of the planet. I went, of course, because there was a cute girl who invited me.

As I was combing the dessert/beverage table for something tasty (I might make another post someday concerning the absurdity of a religion hell-bent against certain substances for ostensible health reasons, while simultaneously indulging in enough sugar and carbonation to kill a horse), I saw the fellow sporting this cleverly devised, obviously home-made t-shirt. And the best part of all, the material is thin enough to proudly display this guy's garment line. I immediately busted out my iphone and declared to him, "I'm taking a picture of your shirt." It wasn't a request. I figured, if he is brazen enough to wear such a shirt, he forfeits any degree of privacy.

The thing is, I know guys who would make t-shirts like this. I served my mission with them. And it isn't that they are total a-holes (not all of them, at least), its just that they are naive enough to think that there is no way this could possibly offend anyone. Anyone in Provo, that is.

You see, the level of audacity required to don such a shirt may be natural to these guys, but the confidence to make this sort of authoritative declaration is certainly enhanced in the mission field. Young boys are taught to not think twice about the dramatic and bold proclamations they must make everyday. The words "I know" become an integral part of your vocabulary. And luckily, it doesn't matter if your don't really know. The church also teaches the clever premise (and paradoxically befuddling) "a testimony comes in the bearing of it." In more vulgar terms, "fake it 'til you make it." This ingenius little clause allows thousands of missionaries the world over to feel okay about expressing a viewpoint which they may not fully understand or believe in themselves. It allows them to appropriate the authority and audacity of a prophet when they boldy declare the "Truths" about their religion.

And this carries over into life at college.

I can almost guarantee that the wearer of this shirt was less than a year home from his mission. For most, this level of unrestrained confidence fades quickly as they gain more exposure to the world in a setting that does not allow for them to be so cavalier. At least, I hope it does.

I don't believe in God. But I can respect those that do. And I know that there are times and places for civilized dialogue concerning matters of faith and religion. And there are appropriate ways express one's personal "testimony".

At the same time, I believe in freedom of expression. And if this guy wants to keep wearing this shirt around for years to come, I say go for it. Hell, I'd tell him to get it tatooed on his chest. But I'd also ask him to not be surprised when other christians look at him and think, "Man, these guys don't really believe in Jesus. In fact, they think he's just a Mormon." And after all the effort the church leaders go through trying to emphasize they are the church of Jesus Christ and not Joseph Smith, well, I just have to admire the irony of such a shirt being worn by a faithful memeber of their flock.

...but then again, does anything really matter?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tears of Joy

So today at work this girl showed up totally on the verge of tears. This is someone that I have only recently become acquainted with, but we've managed to create a bit of friendship in the downtime of refilling people's diet pepsis. She goes to the Y and she is getting married in about 3 weeks or so. She's about 22 years old, I believe. And when she told she was engaged a few weeks ago, I gladly congratulated her.

But on seeing her tonight, my initial thoughts were not the most noble. I thought, "Huh, I wonder if she's still getting married? Maybe she's had some fight and broken off the wedding...That would be lucky for her." I'm not sure if this is an enlightened thought or not, but it's really what I thought.

I've never been married. And I may not even have any real insights concerning love and marriage, but I can't help the visceral reactions I have when I meet another young mormon couple about to take a leap of faith, propelled either by their blind devotion to a flawed paradigm or by their hormones. Or both.

Thursday, July 24, 2008